Mooney noticed that you seem to take a parental role in your family (not unusual for the eldest) and that there seemed to be a lack of boundaries. You don’t mention the early years in your family and what childhood was like. Mooney feels that this behaviour had probably started in childhood: “The compulsive need to lie is a defence, a learned defence: you tell a lie rather than face the consequences of the truth, or the reality of life.” Put simply, people lie when they fear the reaction the truth will bring. She explains that if “someone acts out a compulsive behaviour such as lying, it can originate from a fear of being criticised”. I consulted Dr Angela Mooney, a counselling psychologist who specialises in compulsive behaviour addiction ( .uk). Is your sister under any sort of medical attention? How can I help my parents? Or is the solution to cut her out of my life and focus on my own happiness?ĭoes everyone in your family feel the same? I hear that your parents feel powerless to act but do they feel the same as you do? Does your sister? If they do, then it’s a shame that you can’t all come together to tackle this behaviour. Although I appreciate how hard it is to live with depression and mental illness, I don’t believe that this fully excuses her actions. I feel this kind of behaviour can’t be tolerated for ever as it’s putting my parents under huge amounts of stress, but there is no way of getting through to my sister as far as she’s concerned, her behaviour is always someone else’s fault. ![]() She holds our family to ransom: any family time has to be arranged around her or my parents suffer weeks of her terrorising them. My parents refuse to reprimand her for her behaviour as they are terrified that anything negative they say will cause a suicide attempt. Everything is going well and I am sick of constantly being dragged down by my sister and her fiance. The truth is that outside my family I have a great life: I have a very successful career, a large group of friends and a supportive partner. I have repeatedly cut contact with them only to feel guilty and let them back in just for her to attack me at the first opportunity, saying I have an eating disorder and am an alcoholic.
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